Self-esteem
Self-esteem is the extent to which one prizes, values, approves or likes oneself.
When we’re experiencing low self-esteem, we tend not to see ourselves very clearly. It’s almost like we’re looking in the mirror at one of those fun houses, where all the bad bits get really, really big and the good bits get really, really small, or are overlooked altogether.
We tend to filter out any awareness of our own positive qualities, while seeing others with clarity. We can work on improving your self-esteem, your confidence, and self-worth.
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is the perception you have of your own worth. It encompasses how much you appreciate and value yourself, influencing your confidence, relationships, and overall well-being. High self-esteem allows you to navigate life’s challenges with resilience, while low self-esteem can lead to self-doubt, anxiety, and depression.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Recognising the signs of low self-esteem is the first step towards improving it. Common indicators include:
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Negative Self-Talk: Constantly criticizing yourself or downplaying your achievements.
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Avoiding Challenges: Fear of failure or rejection can prevent you from trying new things.
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People-Pleasing: Prioritizing others' needs over your own to gain approval.
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Lack of Boundaries: Difficulty saying no or setting limits with others.
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Perfectionism: Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself and feeling like a failure when you don't meet them.
Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can stem from many things. Some may include:
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Social Comparison: Constantly comparing yourself to others, especially on social media, can diminish your self-worth. It's very natural, and very human, to compare to others as we're social creatures. But, the downside to this is it's easy to lose your way with this.
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Childhood Experiences: Negative feedback, bullying, or neglect during childhood can have long-lasting effects.
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Trauma: Past experiences of abuse, loss, or significant life changes can impact your self-esteem.
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Unrealistic Standards: Societal pressures and unrealistic beauty or success standards can contribute to feelings of inadequacy.
How to Boost Your Self-Esteem: Practical Tips
Improving your self-esteem requires some extra focus and effort. Here are some possible strategies that can help you to get started:
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Challenge Negative Thoughts: Replace self-critical thoughts with positive affirmations and realistic self-appraisal.
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Set Realistic Goals: Focus on achievable goals and increase focus on celebrating smaller "wins" to build confidence in your ability to make meaningful progress.
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Practice Self-Compassion: You might assume that guilt-driven or shame-based criticisms would motivate you improve yourself. But in reality, the impact of this negative self talk, or "inner critic" tends to have the opposite effect. The worse you feel about a certain thing, the more anxious you'll probably feel when facing it, and then you'll most likely opt to avoid it. So, give yourself a break. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during tough times.
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Surround Yourself with a Positive Support Network: Engage with supportive friends and communities that uplift, inspire and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.
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Seek Additional Support: All these tools and tips may be easier said than done. This is where counselling can provide some valuable insights with the support of a trained practitioner who can help you improve your self-esteem.
The Ways Self-Esteem Can Impact Your Life
​Your self-esteem has a profound effect on various aspects of your life:
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Relationships: High self-esteem helps you form healthy, supportive relationships, while low self-esteem can lead to codependency or toxic dynamics.
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Career: Confidence in your abilities can propel you toward professional success, whereas self-doubt may hold you back.
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Mental Health: Positive self-esteem is linked to lower rates of anxiety and depression, making it a key factor in overall mental wellbeing.
Ready to boost your self-esteem?
Improving your self-esteem is an empowering journey that can transform your life. By taking small, consistent steps, you can build a strong sense of self-worth that will serve as a foundation for your personal and professional success. Remember, self-esteem isn't about perfection—it's about embracing who you are and valuing your unique strengths.
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Contact me today to schedule a free 15-minute exploration call to see whether we could work together towards building your confidence and self-worth!
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